Son Of A Gun
by Ohfortheloveofpete
Summary: Cub gets his hands on a gun...it doesn't end well.


_I decided to make a Happy Tree Friends story. You've probably heard of Happy Tree Friends before. It's about a bunch of cuddly cartoon animals who for some strange reason keep dying in horrible ways. Trust me. I don't get why they keep dying._

 _Two of the characters are Pop and Cub, father and son who both get brutally killed. Cub seems to die more often though. Apparently being a baby makes him a frequent target of the Grim Reaper. Why must the good die young? Because it's hilarious!_

 _For this fanfic though I don't think I'll kill either of them off. Anyone else is fair game though._

 **Son Of A Gun**

 **Starring:**

 **Cub: Cuddly and cute! Dies ridiculously often.**

 **Pop: The best father ever! NOT!**

 **Also Starring:**

 **Lumpy: He's always taking his lumps...yeah, that was a lame pun.**

 **The Mole: A threat to Happy Tree Friends everywhere...though not as threatening as Flippy.**

 **Cuddles: He may be a rabbit, but he isn't exactly lucky. Have you seen how many times he's dead?**

 **Giggles: You'll probably be giggling at her nasty deaths.**

 **Sniffles: He attempts to eat ants...only to be brutally killed!**

 **Splendid: The best superhero ever. Not!**

 **Lifty: Wait, is this Lifty or Shifty?**

 **Petunia: The biggest neat freak in the world!**

 **Handy: He can bring himself back from the dead but he can't regenerate his hands?**

 **Shifty: Wait, is this Shifty or Lifty? How are we even supposed to tell them apart?**

 **Nutty: Keep him away from sugar. Why doesn't he have diabetes?**

As usual, it was rather sunny at Happy Tree City. Things were rather peaceful.

Inevitably, violence was going to break out as it always did...but for now nobody was being injured, let alone brutally killed. That...probably wasn't going to last long though.

Pop purchased a gun from the gun store. He was going to use it for hunting practice. Lumpy was the cashier.

Of course, if Pop fired the gun in front of Flippy, chances are he would be brutally killed.

But fortunately, Flippy was not anywhere nearby.

Pop pulled out some money and put it in Lumpy's hand.

"Thank you! Please come again!" exclaimed Lumpy. It was nice doing business with him.

For some strange reason he always seemed to have his son with him. Were there any episodes in which the two of them were apart?

Pop drove back home along with his son, who thankfully was buckled in so that he didn't get splattered all over the car. Thankfully, he didn't crash into Mole, who was driving despite being...blind.

As usual, he started being neglectful. He decided to read the morning newspaper...and in the process left the gun on the table.

Luckily, the gun wasn't loaded, so Cub wouldn't end up shooting himself. Pop had put the bullets elsewhere.

Cub eyed the gun curiously. It looked like the squirt gun he played with last week.

He decided to grab it and walk outside.

As usual, it was nice and refreshing out in the world of Happy Tree Friends. Of course, it was only a matter of time before violence broke out like it always did, but the weather was still nice regardless.

Nearby, Cuddles and Giggles were playing ball together.

"Yeah! This is fun!" exclaimed Cuddles.

Giggles nodded in agreement.

At that very moment, Cub approached them.

As soon as they saw him pointing the gun at them, Cuddles and Giggles immediately panicked.

They assumed that Cub was going to shoot at them, unaware that there were no bullets inside the holster.

"Run!" exclaimed Cuddles.

Both of them ran as far away from Cub as possible. Neither of them were looking forward to being shot...though compared to all the deaths that they had suffered, being shot in the head would actually be pretty merciful.

However, Cuddles wasn't watching where he was running and he crashed into a tree and splattered his blood all over it. He was a goner. Why did Happy Tree Friends die so easily? Well, it made for good comedy.

Giggles wasn't paying attention either, and she ended up running right over a cliff. She splattered as soon as she reached the ground.

With Cuddles and Giggles both deceased, Cub continued going for a walk.

He went to visit Sniffles.

Currently, he was mixing chemicals together. Of course, he was wearing a lab coat.

Hopefully he would get good lab results.

"Interesting..." said Sniffles.

So far, his experiments had been a success.

However, at that very moment, Cub entered the room.

Curious, Sniffles turned around to see who his guest was. Was it those killer ants again? They made fire ants seem harmless.

As soon as he saw Cub and the pistol, he panicked.

Unfortunately, he ended up spilling his lab chemicals on himself, which proceeded to melt his face.

"AAAH!" screamed Sniffles. Once again he was undergoing a horrible death. And to think that it was because of a baby, no less.

Well, at least he wasn't getting tortured by the ants this time. Those ants were beyond sadistic.

Sniffles collapsed on the ground, drawing his last breath.

Cub continued on, unaware that he had brutally killed Sniffles...and that he had killed three Happy Tree Friends today. Hopefully there wouldn't be any more victims.

Of course, if he were aware of the deaths he was causing, chances are he would be scarred for life...or at least until the next episode. Things had a habit of resetting in the world of Happy Tree Friends...otherwise, Happy Tree City would be a graveyard by now.

He decided to go visit the shop that his father had gone to previously. Maybe he would find something fun.

Of course, he was way too young to be legally allowed to own a firearm...but he didn't know that.

Meanwhile, Pop put the newspaper he was reading on the table. The obituaries section sure was awful large. Just yesterday Flippy had brutally murdered about half a dozen Happy Tree Friends after a bowling ball knocking down bowling pins reminded him of a hand grenade blowing up a few of his fellow soldiers.

He wondered what he should do next.

He considered reading a book...but none of them seemed particularly interesting.

The bear decided that he would play with Cub now. He always enjoyed that.

However, he then realized that his son was missing.

"Cub? Where are you?" asked Pop.

He began to search around the house.

If he was in the kitchen, chances are he was going to die another horrible death. He could only imagine what would happen to him.

But as it turned out, he was not in the kitchen.

Pop sighed in relief. Now he didn't have to worry about Cub being sliced to pieces by kitchen knives. That was some pretty disgusting imagery...especially since he had experienced that himself one day when he was trying to make a meal for his son.

However, he wasn't any closer to finding his son's whereabouts.

He checked the bathroom to see if his son was using the toilet...before remembering that his son wasn't potty-trained. He was being silly.

He looked all over the house, but he didn't find any trace of him.

Pop let out a sad sigh.

It seemed like he wasn't anywhere inside the household.

Where in the world was Cub?

He then noticed that the door to the house was wide open. He really should have shut that door. He might let in a draft...and unfortunately, he let out a child.

It then occurred to him that his son had wandered off and could be anywhere in Happy Tree City at that point. Just how long WAS he reading the newspaper?

It wasn't a good idea to leave him without adult supervision...especially in the world of Happy Tree Friends where a gruesome death was waiting around every corner.

Well, he might as well start looking. Maybe another Happy Tree Friend had seen him.

He could ask around the city to see if there was anyone matching Cub's description.

Although...they were only about two dozen Happy Tree Friends. He probably wouldn't be too hard to find.

"Cub? Cub!" exclaimed Pop.

He sure hoped that he could find him before something horrible happened to him...like in all those other Happy Tree Friends fanfics.

Fortunately, Cub was fine...though at this point, three Happy Tree Friends were already dead.

He decided to visit Lumpy...who ironically had sold Pop the gun that he was using in the first place.

As soon as Lumpy saw Cub, he assumed that he was robbing him...based on the gun that he was holding.

He let out a screech.

Lumpy then raised his hands in the air.

"AAH! Take whatever you want!" exclaimed Lumpy.

Wait, wasn't that the gun that he had sold to Pop earlier?

This was really ironic.

Cub decided to take a lollipop.

And yes, for some strange reason, they sold candy at that particular gun shop.

He then left the store.

Lumpy scratched his head, wondering why Cub hadn't stolen anything...more valuable.

Well, he wasn't going to dwell on it.

He happily licked the lollipop, enjoying the sweet taste as it rolled on his tongue.

A few moments later, Lifty and Shifty entered the shop.

They were both wielding firearms.

As soon as Lumpy realized what their intentions were, he screamed in horror.

"Give us all your money!" exclaimed Lifty, pointing a gun at Lumpy.

Sweating a puddle and white as a sheet, Lumpy took out the money that was in the cash register.

He then put it in Lifty and Shifty's loot bag.

Lifty and Shifty both chuckled simutaneously.

This robbery had gone rather well.

Of course, Lifty and Shifty never seemed to actually spend the money that they stole. Why exactly did they steal money, anyway?

"I can't believe I'm being robbed twice on the same day..." thought Lumpy.

Perhaps he should get a security guard.

As Cub enjoyed his ill-gotten snack, Nutty suddenly approached him.

He wanted that lollipop for himself, what with his excessive sweet tooth.

"Oooh!" exclaimed Nutty.

He attempted to grab it from Cub.

However, Cub pulled out his gun at that very moment.

Nutty panicked and ran out on the street...

...where Mole ran him over, spreading his blood all over the place.

Fortunately for Cub, none of the blood splashed on top of him.

In case you weren't counting, that was a total of four dead Happy Tree Friends.

How many Happy Tree Friends were going to die before the fanfic was over? Let's just say that this fanfic is going to be a bloodbath...like virtually every other Happy Tree Friend fanfic.

Cub wondered where he should go next.

At that very moment, The Mole returned home, unaware that he had just brutally killed a Happy Tree Friend...as usual.

How he got a driver's license when he was unable to see, the world may never know. Perhaps Lumpy was in charge?

Cub decided to go visit him.

Strangely enough, he didn't seem to panic like all the other Happy Tree Friends as soon as he saw him.

They were acting kind of weird today.

Wait, could he actually see him?

Oh, that was right. He was blind.

Currently, he was searching for the TV remote...which was pretty difficult for him since he didn't have eyesight.

As it turned out, it was on the floor.

Curious, Cub turned it on.

He decided to check out the news.

"As usual, Happy Tree Friends are being brutally killed." said Petunia. In fact, it was only a matter of time before she died once again.

Another Happy Tree Friend was bound to die sooner or later. The only question was...who was it going to be?

This time, the victims were Nutty, Cuddles, Sniffles, and Giggles.

Petunia was doing a live report.

In other news, Lumpy had been robbed twice in a row.

Where Lifty and Shifty had gone, Lumpy did not know.

They could be anywhere in the outskirts of the city at this point.

Maybe he should fetch Splendid to bring this two raccoons to justice. Then again, he had a habit of accidentally killing Happy Tree Friends. His laser vision was definitely lethal.

Curious, Cub noticed Pop on TV. He was calling his name.

Cub laughed. He was happy to see his father on TV.

After watching the news channel, he decided it was time to leave.

He decided to explore the forest.

Cub discovered Lifty and Shifty, who were counting how much money they had stolen from Lumpy. Based on the size of the loot bag, they had stolen quite a bit from him.

He noticed that there was a spotlight nearby.

The baby bear decided to play with it.

Cub ended up making a symbol...a symbol of a squirrel face.

As it turned out, this was the Splendid signal.

Not long afterwards, the squirrel of steel was on the scene. He flew in just as Lifty and Shifty had finished counting the money.

Lifty and Shifty panicked.

Unfortunately, they had forgotten to bring Kryptonut with them. They didn't think that Splendid of all people would find them.

But as it was, they were in serious danger of being sent to jail for their crimes.

They attempted to run away. There was no use trying to fight someone who had super strength AND speed.

However, Splendid was too fast for them.

He grabbed them both and began to fly away with them.

However, he ended up getting his cape caught in a jet turbine.

Splendid screamed in horror and pain and he was torn to shreds. His blood splattered all over the plane.

Unfortunately, this sent the plane flying out of control.

Incidentally, Handy happened to be the pilot.

He wondered if flying a plane without having hands was such a good idea.

Fortunately, there was a parachute nearby.

He used it to evacuate.

Luckily for him, his parachute didn't fail to open, so it looked as if he wasn't going to get brutally killed for a change.

Wait, how exactly did he open his parachute? He didn't have hands!

I guess the world will never know.

However, the process of being brutally killed, Splendid dropped Lifty and Shifty.

And unfortunately for them, they didn't have a parachute like Handy did.

It looked like they would be paying the Grim Reaper for a visit...for like the hundredth time.

Lifty crashed into the ground and was splattered like a pancake...a pancake with lots of blood.

Fortunately for Shifty, he fell on a tree.

Though he was injured as he fell down the numerous branches, he was still alive.

"Whew!" exclaimed Shifty.

However, shortly afterwards, the plane crashed on top of him.

He was crushed like a bug...and his blood spilled over the ground.

As Cub continued to play with the spotlight, he was discovered by Pop.

Pop quickly picked him up.

"Cub! There you are!" exclaimed Pop.

Cub giggled. He was happy to see his father again.

"I was worried about you!" shouted Pop.

Pop and Cub went back home.

Hopefully Pop would be more careful this time.

Moral: Don't play with guns!

 _I hope you enjoyed this story. I seem to recall the producers saying they wouldn't use firearms to kill Happy Tree Friends since apparently that wasn't creative...so I figured why not create a Happy Tree Friends fanfic involving firearms that WAS creative?_

 _You probably noticed that aside from Pop and Cub, I didn't kill Lumpy...he got robbed twice so I figured I would give him a break from all the bloodshed._

 _I figured it would be funny if I killed Splendid via a jet turbine since he always wears a cape. Heh heh heh._

 _I'll see you later._


End file.
